Stop Signs

In the fast paced nature that is our world now, there are very few times when we welcome stop signs.  We see it coming.  We know it's there.  We will make the required brief pause, but we don't want to linger too long because we have a destination in mind.  We want to roll through.  We have things to do and people to see.  Schedules to keep and better places to go.  We stop, but we don't want to sit. 

Like roads, life seems to be freckled with various stop signs along the journey. And just as with roads, it is rare that we actually take pause and sit and reflect at these life stop signs.

We so often just go day to day accustomed to our routines and working our way through fully planned calendars, that we fail to stop and reflect on what it is that makes our lives worth living.  All the while the sands of time are so quickly sliding through our unaware, busy fingers. 

These small pauses of reflection come naturally at certain stop signs along the road of life.  The first memorable stop sign for me was my highschool graduation.  My reflective mood seemed to start brewing at the beginning of my senior year and percolated all the way up to graduation night where I was just one giant ball of reflecting emotions sitting at the stop sign.

You see, I didn't have the typical tormented high school experience.  Oh, it had its moments, but overall, I loved high school.  LOVED it.  Not the homework.  Not the classes.  Not the sports (I didn't play). Not the boyfriends (I didn't date).  No, I loved highschool because I was given a gift.

In seventh grade I was given a core group of 3 close friends who would eventually help to mold who I became.  The Lord knew what he was doing when He put them in my life.  He knew who to put around me to meet me at some of life's upcoming stop signs.  

We spent 6 years together. Cramming for tests.  Complaining about teachers.  Creating inside jokes. Liking this boy.  Hating that boy.  Liking this boy again.  We spent  birthdays and breaks together.  We shared secrets.  We swapped houses from weekend to weekend.  We had four moms among us that were like moms to us all.  We talked.  We laughed.  We cried.  We laughed til we cried.  We bonded.  

It would take pages upon pages to describe the bond.  To record the memories.  To detail the impact these girls and these years had on my life. 

And then it all culminated in that one night.  That first big stop sign in life.  There was both sadness and excitement.  Both looking back and looking forward.  Thinking of what was and what was to come.  Promises to stay in touch.  Many hugs.  Many more tears.  We paused and reflected and oh-so-suddenly, we graduated.  

We entered the college years.  And as it happens with most high school friendships, our pre-graduation promises led to post-graduation reality.  We'd get together for lunch.  We'd have the occasional reminiscent slumber party.  We'd meet up for coffee and dessert.  Efforts to stay in touch dwindled slowly over the years until we became friends who only saw each other at those other big life stop signs.  

One by one we celebrated engagements and wedding showers.  We saw each other married off.  We cheered for pregnancy announcements and showered each other with baby gifts.  Each time we got together we would pick up where we left off.  Sharing more laughs.  Crying a few tears.  And inevitably voicing regret over lost time, making promises to do better in the years to come, and falling back into old patterns of individually busy lives.

And then it happens. You get the call or read the text and at this stop sign, the busy of life just stops.  You realize one of your precious friends has been hit with a really BIG life changing moment.  The moment that changes life through a life that has ended.  Your friend has lost a parent.  Your friend has lost her mom. 

You take a deep breath and you approach this unwanted stop sign in the road.  This particular pause in the journey has a way of hitting you like no other.  In dealing with death you are forced to reflect on life.  

Last night as we four friends stood there together in the funeral home, I was suddenly overwhelmed by how quickly time has passed.  We weren't supposed to me making a stop here already.  We were just celebrating graduations and weddings and births... We liked to meet at those stop signs.  But at this is one we'd rather keep rolling through.  We don't like this stop.  And yet, we all showed up.  

We were there because we all understood the gift we were given all those many years ago. 

We once again picked up where we had left off.  We shared hugs.  We shed tears.  We shed even more tears.  We reminisced and reflected and laughed to lighten the mood.  We clenched our fists despite that slipping sand of time and for a moment it slowed down and the busy of life went away.  We reflected. 

We came to a complete stop.  

And we sat at the stop sign. 

Together.